Football Jokes

Author: Macmillan Children's Books
Publisher: Pan Macmillan
ISBN: 1447259831
File Size: 12,92 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
Read: 7557
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Hundreds of the most hilarious football jokes around. Perfect for football fans to enjoy in between those all-important World Cup games, Premier League matches and European Cup finals. When is a footballer like a baby? When he dribbles. Who's in goal when the ghost team plays football? The ghoulie, of course Why is a football crowd learning to sing like a person opening a tin of sardines? They both have trouble with the key. What goes stomp, stomp, stomp, squelch? An elephant with wet football boots. How does an octopus go on to a football pitch? Well-armed! How can a footballer stop his nose running? Put out a foot and trip it up. What's the best day for a footballer to eat bacon and eggs for breakfast? Fry-day.

World S Funniest Football Jokes

Author: Jim Chumley
Publisher: Summersdale Publishers LTD
ISBN: 1786854686
File Size: 61,90 MB
Format: PDF
Read: 6800
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What did the manager do when the pitch became flooded?He sent on his subs.God and the devil were having an argument, and Satan proposed a football game between heaven and hell to resolve the dispute.God, in his eternal goodness, pointed out that it wouldn't be a fair match because all the 'good' players go to heaven.The devil smiled, replying, "Yes, but we've got all the refs."Football is obviously very serious business— like when that disallowed goal was 'never off-side', and that was 'totally a dive' but it's a funny old game really. This compendium of hilarious jokes will help you see the lighter side when your team is showing you up, and give your mates a good chuckle at the celebrations when they win.

Fantastically Funny Football Joke Book

Author: Dave Bromage
Publisher: Puffin Books
ISBN: 9780141321158
File Size: 25,94 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Docs
Read: 7916
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Did you hear that Ashley Cole and Cheryl Tweedy are releasing a song together?They're calling themselves Goals Allowed.A fab and funny joke book full of footballing jokes, anecdotes, cartoons and other crazy stuff to get you giggling!

Oor Wullie The Big Bucket Of Laughs Joke Book

Author: Oor Wullie
Publisher: Black & White Publishing
ISBN: 1910230235
File Size: 39,86 MB
Format: PDF, Kindle
Read: 9999
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Welcome tae my Big Bucket o' Laughs Jokebook! I've gathered hunners o' jokes and riddles frae a' my pals - Fat Bob, Soapy Soutar and Wee Eck, so if ye've heard ony o' them afore, blame them. There are mair jokes in this book than I've had hot dinners and Ma has gi'en me plenty o' them in my time. Keep smilin'! Wullie Why did the pony cough? It was feeling a little hoarse! Where do you get chilli beans? At the North Pole! What do you call a man with a stamp on his head? Frank!

555 Football Facts To Wow Your Mates

Author: Les Scott
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1446405311
File Size: 39,64 MB
Format: PDF, Kindle
Read: 6454
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Which football trophy has three handles? When was a match stopped because there was a solar eclipse? Which very famous ex-West Ham player's middle name is Chelsea? The answers to these questions and many more can be found in this funny, fascinating book. You might think you know football, but this book will turn you into the ultimate fan. Packed full of stuff on players, matches, positions and all the major competitions, it really does contain everything you could ever wish to know about your favourite sport.

Football Joke Book

Author: Clive Gifford
Publisher: Wayland
ISBN: 9780750282864
File Size: 27,91 MB
Format: PDF, Docs
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This title features side-splittingly funny football and World Cup football jokes.

The Funniest Football Joke Book Ever

Author: Carl McInerney
Publisher: Andersen Press
ISBN: 9781849391115
File Size: 55,66 MB
Format: PDF, Kindle
Read: 3261
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What did the ref say to the chicken who tripped a defender? Fowl Why was the footballer upset on his birthday? He got a red card These and many more howlers to make you laugh even if we lose the Cup!!!

Match Joke Book

Author: Macmillan Children's Books
Publisher: Pan Macmillan
ISBN: 1509825010
File Size: 43,59 MB
Format: PDF, Mobi
Read: 2194
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Over four hundred of the funniest football jokes from the makers of Match! the UK's best football magazine! Match! Joke Book is a hilarious mix of football quips, puns, knock-knock jokes and shaggy-dog stories. You'll laugh your football socks off! The Sweetest Stars Sergio Agu-AERO (Manchester City) Lee KIT-KAT-termole (Sunderland) MARS Bender (Bayer Leverkusen) ROLO Touré (Liverpool) John TERRY'S CHOCOLATE ORANGE (Chelsea)

The Bumper Book Of Very Silly Jokes

Author: Macmillan Children's Books
Publisher: Pan Macmillan
ISBN: 1447247256
File Size: 49,58 MB
Format: PDF, Docs
Read: 1744
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Hundreds of silly jokes on every topic you can think of! What's the difference between an elephant and a biscuit? You can't dunk an elephant in your tea. Why did the monster get good marks in his exam? Because two heads are better than one. What do you call a woman with a tortoise on her head? Shelley.

Fractured Lands

Author: Scott Anderson
Publisher: Anchor
ISBN: 0525434445
File Size: 61,52 MB
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From the bestselling author of Lawrence in Arabia, a piercing account of how the contemporary Arab world came to be riven by catastrophe since the 2003 United States invasion of Iraq. In 2011, a series of anti-government uprisings shook the Middle East and North Africa in what would become known as the Arab Spring. Few could predict that these convulsions, initially hailed in the West as a triumph of democracy, would give way to brutal civil war, the terrors of the Islamic State, and a global refugee crisis. But, as New York Times bestselling author Scott Anderson shows, the seeds of catastrophe had been sown long before. In this gripping account, Anderson examines the myriad complex causes of the region’s profound unraveling, tracing the ideological conflicts of the present to their origins in the United States invasion of Iraq in 2003 and beyond. From this investigation emerges a rare view into a land in upheaval through the eyes of six individuals—the matriarch of a dissident Egyptian family; a Libyan Air Force cadet with divided loyalties; a Kurdish physician from a prominent warrior clan; a Syrian university student caught in civil war; an Iraqi activist for women’s rights; and an Iraqi day laborer-turned-ISIS fighter. A probing and insightful work of reportage, Fractured Lands offers a penetrating portrait of the contemporary Arab world and brings the stunning realities of an unprecedented geopolitical tragedy into crystalline focus.